Love.

There is one subject that comes up in lyrics for music much more than any other-love. I think it is important that i tell you what i think of love now, as it is relevant in just about every part of life. Love is probably the most confusing thing in the world, so i guess it's gonna be pretty hard for me to explain it. This blog post is probably gonna end up being the longest one i'll ever write. It probably won't make much sense. It will be in a really weird order. It will quite possibly leave an awful lot unanswered. But hopefully, it might explain something to you or me about life. Possibly.

OK. I was taught in RS this year that there are five types of love(according to the greeks at least). However, i beg to differ. i do not think you can really categorise love, because there are so many different ways of loving something. I guess the place to start is loving in the friend sort of way. I love all of my friends in this way-if it wasn't for them, i wouldn't be able to get through life. I actually owe so much to so many people it is unreal. Friend love is such a strong thing, and i cannot possibly understand what it is like to lose a friend, simply because i havent had the misfortune...yet. But this is where my first lyrics come into play:
'It's hard to believe that there's nobody out there, it's hard to belive that i'm all alone.... Lonely as i am, together we cry.'
'I don't ever want to feel, like i did that day.'
Under the Bridge-Red Hot Chili Peppers. In my opinion the most beautiful and emtional song ever written. He lost his friend to a drug overdose, and it was the most devastating thing that ever happened in his life. It sums up how much you love real friends-if you lost one, it would be the most indescribable, devastating feeling, ever. That is how much it means.

The next form of love is love for your family. My family mean the world. I might not show it all the time, but they've taught me most of what i know, and without family, life would not be the same. Once again, i'm in the position where i havent ever lost someone close to me, so i can't really comment, but it must be hell. Family are there when you are ill, when you are hurt, or when you need to talk to someone, get something off your chest. The love of a family is never outwardly obvious, but in your heart it is always there.
The first song that comes to mind in this case is Family Portrait by Pink. It's not my kind of music, but this song really comes from the heart:
'it aint easy growin up in world war three, never knowing what love would be, you'll see, i don't want love to destroy me like this, can't we work it out? cant we be a family? i promise i'll be better, mummy i'll do anything. In our family portrait, we look pretty happy, we look pretty normal, let's go back to that.'
That really makes me glad, and whenever i hear it, i realise how much i take my family for granted.

Obviously, the last form of love that i'm actually gonna talk about is LOVE love. You know the kind i mean. when a guy loves a girl, or vice versa. Now i havnt exactly been the luckiest in love (understatement of the century lol) but i do know a few things. The first is that love is the one thing that is always on your mind (not just sex, as some people would say). At my age, nobody believes in true love-relationships last a few months at most. But at the time, you really love that person so much that you can't stop thinking of them at all. It is all-encompassing. The problem is that when you break up with that person, you very often end up not talking to them again. This is fine unless the person in question was originally a friend-that is the most inconvenient way of falling in love. I keep reiterating how lucky i must be-i've fallen in love with people who were just friends at first, and i've come out of it with the same friends at the other side, just about... However this leaves me with a new dilemma-if i love a friend, should i actually say anything? because surely at some point i will lose them, i cant carry on being this lucky all my life. So the thought sticks in my head, always there, always pondering, and i guess nothing changes until i either bite the bullet and do something about it, or move on and get over it. God that is a hard decision to make. And that is probably the main reason i'm so bad with love personally-i don't want to risk losing what i already have for a shot at glory, with a 50-50 chance of wining, Yes or No.
The only lyric i can think of for that is The Zutons:
'You will, you won't, you do, you don't, you say you will but you know you won't.'
I'm sure its not actually relevant, but it is like that indecision in one's head when thinking about love-will they/wont they? should i/shouldnt i? Love is confusing as hell. i just dont say anything, cos if you don't ask the question, you dont have to hear the answer.

The final thing about LOVE love is regret. You loved someone but it's over. There are all these things you wish you'd done, wish you'd said, because maybe if you had, things would be different. I regret a lot, i remember a lot, i reminisce a lot. Obviously i won't go into detail, but one consequence of love that is pretty common is heartbreak, and trust me, it hurts. I'm finding it really hard to explain this, so right now i will insert below the lyrics of my favourite song from one of the albums of one of my favourite bands, because i think it is really quite relevant to me and the subject in general. In fact i'll put the whole thing in because it means so much to me:
I, I still remember
how you looked that afternoon.
There was only you.
You said "it's just like a full moon".
Blood beats faster in our veins
We left our trousers by the canal
And our fingers, they almost touched
You should have asked me for it
I would have been brave
You should have asked me for it
How could I say no?
And our love could have soared
Over playgrounds and rooftops
Every park bench screams your name
I kept your tie
I've gone wherever you wanted
(I still remember)
And on that teachers' training day
We wrote our names on every train
Laughed at the people off to work
So monochrome and so lukewarm
And I can see our days are becoming nights.
I could feel your heartbeat across the grass.
We should have run.
I would go with you anywhere.
I should have kissed you by the water
You should have asked me for it
I would have been brave
You should have asked me for it
How could I say no?
And our love could have soared
Over playgrounds and rooftops
Every park bench screams your name
I kept your tie
I would let you if you asked me
I still remember

Bloc Party. Epicness in the form of music.
The only thing i can think of to say to finish of is that i think the best way to show your love, or at least to get it off your mind, is to write a song. It sounds stupid, but it works for me. My lyrics are mediocre at best, but they mean a lot to me:
A face of no emotion
Hides a head full of thought
The mind hunts an answer
That never can be caught.
One moment of pure doubt,
Just when you thought you knew,
You can't make someone else's mind,
It isn't up to you.

A lifetime in the background
Leaves you a million miles behind,
But when you're in the fast lane,
you're always out of time.

Winter broke the wonder
That summer left behind,
It feels like what you built's destroyed
The world's not always kind.
But sometimes it's not as it seems,
The one who's in your head,
Her face shows no emotion
But she thinks of you instead.

I got more, but y'know, i'm sure you're bored of this blog that has absolutely no direction or plan whatsoever. Thanks for reading, next time im right in the mood to do my whole spiel about drugs, alcohol and smoking.
PEACE OUT